ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
