so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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