My nipple is on Facebook.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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