So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
