I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
