At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize