we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you inspire me to be a worse person
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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