Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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