He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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