Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
