I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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