yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
