therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
