can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
