she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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