i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
