somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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