Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize