maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
