I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
