You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
