I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Randomize
