Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
