Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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