Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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