question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
