i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I wear drunk well.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
