just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
