and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
