Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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