i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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