I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
