i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
