I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
