Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
