she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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