Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
