Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
