I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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