Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
