She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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