spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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