I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
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I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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