Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Text me some of your sweat
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