According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
