guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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