how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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