I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
