the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
