Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
