Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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