I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
