It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
