I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
