why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
