i wish starbucks made bloody marys
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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