So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He shit in the fireplace
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