Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude i'm inner monologue high
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
