i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
