Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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