where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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