We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize