Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
