you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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