i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
