every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
