We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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