Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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