Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets