I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.