Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
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theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
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Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.