Don't you send me to vm
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize