Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...

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(812): View more from Indiana

For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor

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(757): View more from Virginia

He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.

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(909): View more from California

Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.

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(313): View more from Michigan

It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.

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(567): View more from Ohio

she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live

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(310): View more from California

Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym

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