I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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